Because most men were never taught that boundaries are theirs to set.
I wasn't. I was taught to accommodate, to keep the peace, to do what was needed, to not cause trouble. I was taught that a good man says yes. A good man shows up. A good man doesn't let people down.
What I wasn't taught was that saying yes to everything eventually means saying no to yourself. And a man who's disconnected from his own limits is a man who can't be trusted — not because he's dishonest, but because he doesn't know where he ends and someone else begins.
Setting boundaries felt cruel to me at first. Like I was being selfish. Like I was abandoning someone who needed me. But over time, I learned that a boundary isn't a wall. It's a definition. It says: here's where I am, here's what I can offer, and here's where I stop. That's not rejection. That's honesty.
And honestly, the people who were most upset when I started setting boundaries were the people who benefited most from me not having any. That told me something.
A man without boundaries isn't generous. He's unanchored. And an unanchored man will drift wherever the current is strongest, calling it love the whole way down.
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