Because a lot of the time, the thinking isn't finished yet.
I know this sounds like an excuse, but stay with me. A lot of men process internally. They're not withholding — they're working. They're turning something over, looking at it from different angles, trying to figure out what they actually think before they say it. Sharing prematurely feels like showing someone a half-built house. It's not ready. It doesn't make sense yet. And if they share it and you push back, they'll have to defend something they weren't sure about in the first place.
That's not the whole story, of course. Some men don't share because they've learned it's not safe. They shared before and got criticized, dismissed, or laughed at. Some don't share because they think their thoughts don't matter. Some don't share because they're afraid the thought itself will be misunderstood and they'll spend the next hour trying to explain what they didn't even mean that strongly.
If you want a man to share what he's thinking, give him room to think out loud without penalty. Say, "You don't have to have it figured out. I just want to hear where you are." That gives a man permission to be in process — and most men need that permission before they'll open the door.
---
